November 27th, 2009 kellyschnell
Yesterday was full of reminders that I truly have so much to be thankful for. The sound of laughter coming from our nieces and nephew, the smell of fresh-baked apple pie, the coziness of a warm home, the beauty of sunlight sparkling on a lake, the joy of being surrounded by people that I have come to love as my very own family… It was a good day, spent lounging around the house together, eating to the point of stuffed-ness, playing games, and laughing till our cheeks hurt. Shane and I pulled ourselves out of our post-dinner food comas to take a drive and enjoy the sunshine, returning just in time to re-stuff ourselves with dessert. Perfection.
May we all count and share our blessings throughout the year to come.
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November 15th, 2009 kellyschnell
One of the things that I value most about our church is their willingness to tackle and discuss ‘difficult’ issues, so Shane and I were quick to register for the latest series of depth classes entitled ‘Faith and Race’. Race has always been one of those walking-on-eggshells kind of topics for me – out of fear of saying anything ignorant or offensive, I’ve usually chosen the path of avoidance when it comes to discussions on race. It was nice to be in a room with so many people who were willing to step up take the risk of saying something that might rub someone else the wrong way, for the sake of us all learning about each other and about the realities of a racially unjust world.
There were a couple of topics in particular that really struck a chord with me. One of these was the discussion on ‘white privilege’. During our second evening together, we were all asked to fill out a questionnaire composed of true/false statements such as ‘I can choose a bandage in “flesh color” and know it will more or less match my skin color’, or ‘If a traffic cop pulls me over, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race’. I answered ‘True’ to all 17 statements. A perfect score. But as other people in my group shared their scores of 10, 9, 8, etc, I became increasingly ashamed of my A+ paper. I felt guilty that I couldn’t relate to other people’s stories of discrimination and inequality. I was living in an easier, more comfortable kind of world, blissfully enjoying race as a total ‘non-issue’. And so I was embarrassed by my privilege. Then I read the questions again, stewed awhile, and the more I thought about it, my guilt transitioned into defensiveness. I didn’t ask for these so-called ‘privileges’. I wasn’t responsible for the production white-person Band-Aids, or fashion magazines filled with supermodels primarily of my same skin color. These were things beyond my control, whether they were fair or not. Sure, Shane and I certainly live privileged lives, but we have worked hard for things like our home, our well-stocked fridge, our clothes-filled closets. So why should I feel guilty? This period of defensiveness was thankfully short-lived as I reminded myself that the church leaders I value and trust were not intending to persecute me because of my race – there had to be a constructive lesson behind all of this. And so I wrestled with this issue of ‘white privilege’ further. And I came to recognize that I do regularly enjoy a number of unearned advantages based on the fact that I am part of the racial majority. But what was I supposed to do with this realization? I was happy to find that one of the topics up for discussion at the learning conference that took place at Quest yesterday was, ‘White Privilege – Now What?’ Jason read my thoughts as he expressed the difficulty in figuring out what to do with the knowledge that we still live in a very racially unjust world, where white people often enjoy certain benefits at the expense of racial minorities. He didn’t give us a checklist of things we could do to right these wrongs, or a twelve-step process for obliterating white privilege, but his challenge to all of us was powerful: he asked us to allow ourselves to live in discomfort – to be ‘agitators for justice’, to be daily aware of and uncomfortable with the injustice of white privilege. God has not called us to live blissfully ignorant lives. No, I don’t know yet exactly how, where, or when I’ll be called to action, but I’m definitely walking around with wider, more aware eyes now. That’s a start.
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October 25th, 2009 kellyschnell
No great photos or artwork or momentous events to share from the past couple of days, but I am trying to get in the habit of using my Sunday evenings as a time to reflect on the good/fun/productive stuff that took place over the weekend (rather than as a time to dread the inevitable arrival of Monday). These were the highlights:
Mall madness on Friday night with a girlfriend. We both had some decent discount coupons that were about to expire, so we hopped in the car at 7:30 pm, were walking into the mall by 8:00, and scored several amazing deals by the time they locked the doors behind us at 9:00. I tallied up my purchases, and all in all, I averaged a savings of over 50%! Shane rained on my parade when he reminded me that you still have to spend money to save money, but still, I think I did well.
Saturday morning we were up early to head over to Seward Park to run in the 5k Pumpkin Push race. We ran this race together last year and have decided to make a bit of a tradition out of it. I was thrilled to find that I had shaved over 2 minutes off of last year’s time, and Shane was an absolute super-hero, taking a whole 4 minutes off of last year’s time. It was a beautiful day to be out for a run along the lake – clear, crisp, and full of beautiful fall colors.
Saturday afternoon was spent picking out plants at the local nursery and then planting them out back – we still have some work to do in our new yard, but it’s coming together really nicely. I can’t wait for the day when the planting is done, the patio chairs are purchased, the weather is good, and we are able to enjoy a glass of wine on our new patio.
We spent this evening with the neighbors, making more dumplings (soooooo good) and carving the pumpkins we picked up at the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago. Our little jack-o-lantern is flickering on our front porch as I type, signaling the approach of Halloween, which means November is right around the corner. Hard to believe…
We are closing the weekend with some quality veg-time, watching an episode of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’, sipping a cup of tea, and enjoying the warmth of our cozy living room while the rain falls outside. Ahhh, Sundays…
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October 3rd, 2009 kellyschnell
The persistent rain, the changing color of the leaves, the darker mornings, and the fact that I’ve had to dig out the sweaters and shove the tank tops to back of my closet leave me with the feeling that summer is officially, officially OVER. It was such a good summer, full of sunshine and margaritas and long runs along Lake Washington. Sad to see it end, but I’m ready to see what this next season holds. I look forward to fall as a time to enjoy the warmth of our home, to curl up on the couch with Shane on a rainy Sunday afternoon, to pull out my knitting needles and search for inspiration in my basket full of yarn. The changing of seasons can have such an impact on my daily routine, on my interests and activities. And so as I’m entering this period of transition, I’m trying to be intentional about change in asking myself, “What do I really want my day-to-day to look like?” Shane and I have often talked about what kind of rhythms we want our lives to have – what are the things that we want to ingrain into our schedule and routine? And we’ve often (always) fallen short of setting these rhythms into place. But as I mentioned, I’m in the mood for change, and so now is as good a time as any to implement these hopes and goals. I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that in fall of 2009, I will:
*Share a home-cooked meal with Shane at the dinner table at least four nights a week (this one is a double-bonus – improve my cooking skills and get some much needed regular ‘how-you-doin’ time with my husband). This one has proven to be incredibly difficult, with work and work-outs and weekly commitments, but if we really try, we can make this happen. And yes, I have come to terms with the fact that pouring milk over a bowl of cereal does not count as a ‘home-cooked meal’.
*Get together with the amazing girlfriends I’ve been blessed with in Seattle much more regularly. Schedules are busy, so get-togethers are tricky, but I’d love to connect with at least a couple ladies every week.
*Dedicate time every day (could be five minutes, could be an hour) to conversing with God. Might be in the form of prayer, might be in the form of study, but whatever it is, it will be time that I spend specifically focused on growing in my relationship with Him.
The list could go on, but I’m going to limit myself to focusing on these three vitally important things. Change is hard, but it can be so good.
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August 23rd, 2009 kellyschnell
This was a fabulous weekend. Nothing super-special took place, but a lot of little things came together to make this a really good, really productive couple of days. I kicked off Saturday with a 5-mile run along Lake Washington – it was a gray morning, but I always feel like I’m energized by being near the water, so I was able to pull through at a pretty steady jog. And I’m finally getting into a groove where these runs don’t take everything out of me, so I was left with enough energy to check off a couple of errands, pick up some groceries, and shampoo our carpets. It’s embarrassing to admit just how much I really enjoyed giving our carpets a thorough cleaning, but man, it was satisfying to dump bucket after bucket of dirty water down the drain. Well worth the $25 rental fee we paid to split the ‘Rug Doctor’ machine rental with our neighbors. And I have to credit Shane with having the better carpet cleaning technique between the two of us – he was able to turn those corners with impressive tightness. What a man… We spent Saturday night with some of our most favorite Seattle peeps, celebrating a friend’s birthday and recent return from a 10-week stint in India. It had been awhile since we’d sat around a table with these people, and we reveled in the joy of sipping our cocktails, stuffing our faces with pineapple cake, and laughing uncontrollably as we all tried on the fake mustaches that were a birthday gift for J. Weird, yes, but there is in fact a story behind the mustache joke that I won’t go into here… I think my eyes are closed in this photo, as I was trying not to sneeze – I spent the rest of the evening trying to blow gray fur out of my nose.
Today was a much more mellow day – we went to church this morning, and then I spent a few hours at the office, which is not how I prefer to spend a Sunday afternoon, but it did relieve some of my anxiety about the mid-week deadlines I have coming up. Another short jog, a dinner of pork loin and corn on the cob straight off the grill, and I was ready to settle in for the night with my fleece blanket and cup of ginger peach tea. I definitely earned my “veggin’-out” time tonight, so we are cozy-ing up to watch the latest Mad Men episode before we call this weekend a wrap.
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August 9th, 2009 kellyschnell
Sunday nights are definitely not my favorite time of the week – sometime between 6 and 8 pm, I usually start moping around the house, mourning the passing of another weekend, dreading the incessant ringing of my alarm clock that will begin without fail come Monday morning at 6:30. But tonight, as the Sunday night funk began to set in, I stopped, and instead tried to focus on what a great week this has been. It was a bumpy start, with a couple of long, stressful days at work, but those long hours resulted in a client meeting going extremely well on Wednesday morning, and things were looking up. The rest of the day was full of highlights: I enjoyed a nice lunch and dinner with Shane’s parents on their last full day in Seattle; I took my first ever Harley ride with Shane’s dad along Lake Washington; and I spent Wednesday night enjoying VIP treatment at the Seattle Sounders v. Barcelona game, courtesy of a new friend. The rest of the week was enjoyably low-key, with a couple of deadline-free days at work, a nice stroll through Pioneer Square on Thursday evening to check out a few art galleries, and some quality chill-time spent at home enjoying Shane’s company. The weekend was also relaxing, though productive, as we stocked our fridge with blueberries, tidied up the yard a bit, and logged some miles on the old runnin’ shoes. I caught up with friends and family that I hadn’t talked to in awhile, spent some time in my sketchbook, found a cute new pair of sandals on double-clearance at DSW, and finished up a couple of knitting projects that had been nagging me for awhile. Nice. And so I won’t mope about the fact that tomorrow is Monday, but instead enjoy the feeling of a week well-spent.
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June 21st, 2009 kellyschnell
Since I failed to get a card in the mail on time, this post will have to serve as my Father’s Day ode. I have been blessed with a wonderful father – to recount the lessons he’s taught me and the experiences we’ve shared would take days, but I’d like to say a huge thank you to him for all he has done for me. I’m thankful for the daddy-daughter dates we used to share when I was a little girl and he’d take me out for ice cream sundaes or bowling; I’m thanking him for the way that he knew just when to let go of the seat of my pink and green Huffy when I first learned how to ride a bike; I’m thankful for the time that he put into coaching my softball team and taking me to tour colleges during my Junior year of high school; I’m thankful that he was there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, for his composure as I felt those pre-wedding jitters and for his tenderness as we cried tears of joy together when the ceremony was over. I’m eternally grateful that I have two parents that have time and again demonstrated the importance of faithfulness to God and commitment to your family. I am blessed. And so, Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I’ve got a huge dark chocolate bar and a tin full of oatmeal raisin cookies with your name on it.
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June 11th, 2009 kellyschnell
Exactly ten years ago today, Shane drove over to my house in his bright blue Dodge Neon and picked me up for our very first date. We went to the movies and saw Notting Hill, then grabbed milkshakes at a little restaurant down the street from the theater. I remember feeling relieved that conversation flowed so easily between us, thinking that Shane was really cute, wondering if he was going to kiss me goodnight as our evening together came to an end. He did not kiss me, which I appreciated as the sign of a gentleman, but he did call me the next day and ask if I’d like to go out again. Yes, please! We spent much of that summer together, watching movies in my living room while my dad waited up and kept a distant eye on us from the kitchen, wanting to make sure this new guy in my life wasn’t up to no good. We went out and shot pool at the local pool hall, played miniature golf at the little amusement park, and drove out to Turlock Lake to walk along the water and escape the heat. And then, as Summer came to an end, the very first questions about our future together arose. Shane was due to return to Minnesota when his internship was over, so I began to prepare myself for saying good-bye. But when he was offered a full-time job in California, he decided that his days as a Minnesotan were over, much to his family’s surprise. He stayed in town, and we stayed together. Then I began my senior year of high school, and started applying to colleges three or four hours away from home, and more questions about our relationship came to light. Did I really want to get involved with someone, knowing that I would be going away and starting a totally new phase of my life in the Fall? Would I be missing out on some part of my final year of high school by dating someone who had already completed that part of his life, who didn’t know my friends, or care about our school’s football team, or want to go to high school parties or dances? Shane and I did keep seeing each other throughout that year, but I was cautious. I kept my heart under lock and key. When he first told me he loved me, my response was, “No, you can’t.” Ouch, that must have hurt him. But I had never been serious with anyone before, and I found it hard to tread through these unfamiliar waters. Thankfully, patience is one of Shane’s strongest virtues, and he gave me time and space to figure out what I wanted for our relationship. And one year after our first date, I told him that I loved him. I would be leaving for Cal Poly in September, and the thought of having a long-distance boyfriend was scary, but I knew that this guy was just too good to let go. We decided to give it a try. Shane put a lot of miles on his car during those few years, frequently making the 200-mile trip down to San Luis Obispo, and I went through a lot of calling cards as we spent endless hours on the phone. It was hard at times, but we got through the hard times and reveled in the good times. We were making it work, and I was falling deeper in love. But during my fourth year of college, when I was studying in Paris, those pesky questions about our future began to arise again. Shane came to visit me in May of 2004, and I was ecstatic to see him. Being in Paris with the man you love is enough to put anyone on Cloud 9. But then, one afternoon as we were sitting along the Seine, talking and dangling our feet near the river, Shane threw me for a loop when he reached into his pocket, pulled out the most beautiful diamond ring I’d ever seen, and asked me to be his wife. To say that I panicked would be an understatement. Yes, of course I loved this thoughtful, generous, wonderful man, but was I really ready to commit to forever? I had spent the previous eight months living alone in Europe, embracing my independence and freedom. Marriage was not at the forefront of my mind. And so my answer was, “I can’t answer you right now.” Double-ouch. Shane was hurt, and my heart broke as I saw his heart breaking. But I just knew that I wasn’t in a place where I could make that kind of commitment. The next year was a tough one, as we both wrestled with discerning God’s plan for our relationship. I kept waiting for that moment everyone talks about when “you just know”. It didn’t come. And although Shane is patient, that question can only be kept on the table for so long. I had been offered a job up in Seattle and knew that the indecision timer was running out. Finally, after much praying and talking and counseling and growing, I decided to take a leap of faith, and in July of 2005 I asked Shane to please put that pretty little ring on my finger. We got married the following May, and now, a couple of weeks after our third wedding anniversary, here we are. And “here” is a very good place to be. Bit by bit, I have given my heart to this man, and he has treated it unbelievably well. So, cheers to our first of many decades together – can’t wait to see what the next ten years will look like.
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June 7th, 2009 kellyschnell
We spent most of this weekend down in Portland, enjoying some much-needed time with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece. It had been over 3 months since my last visit, and I was itching to see how Elise had grown and changed. She is crawling all over the place now, attempting to take her first steps, although the spill that she took a couple of weeks ago, and the subsequent broken ankle and cumbersome cast, have set her back a little bit walking-wise. She is incredibly good-natured and has many sorts of smiles – after waking up from a nap she will tuck in her chin and look up at you with a bashful little grin; when you lift her up into the air or tickle her stomach she will squeal with unrestrained laughter. She is also eating all kinds of new things – veggies are clearly not her favorite, but she has recently discovered the joy of spaghetti, in all its glorious messiness:
Such a darling, loving, fun little girl… And once again, I am left wondering, “When can I see her again?!”
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May 25th, 2009 kellyschnell
This weekend was proof that summertime is just around the corner, as I enjoyed: slicing into a perfectly juicy watermelon; taking in a Sunday afternoon baseball game; seeing our little front yard garden grow by the hour; drinking several glasses of chilled white wine; jogging along sparkling Lake Washington; barbecuing in the backyard with neighbors; waking up each morning and opening all the windows in the house; wearing tank tops and flip flops; reveling in the feel of sunshine on my shoulders. ‘Tis the season for all these warm weather pleasures.
Unfortunately, ’tis also the season for busy-ness, with long hours at work and weekends spent preparing for my next licensing exam. But I will certainly be taking time to stop and smell the spider mums… (Flowers courtesy of Shane.)
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