little black journal

We spent most of this weekend down in Portland, enjoying some much-needed time with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece.  It had been over 3 months since my last visit, and I was itching to see how Elise had grown and changed.  She is crawling all over the place now, attempting to take her first steps, although the spill that she took a couple of weeks ago, and the subsequent broken ankle and cumbersome cast, have set her back a little bit walking-wise.  She is incredibly good-natured and has many sorts of smiles – after waking up from a nap she will tuck in her chin and look up at you with a bashful little grin; when you lift her up into the air or tickle her stomach she will squeal with unrestrained laughter.  She is also eating all kinds of new things – veggies are clearly not her favorite, but she has recently discovered the joy of spaghetti, in all its glorious messiness:

Such a darling, loving, fun little girl…  And once again, I am left wondering, “When can I see her again?!”

This weekend was proof that summertime is just around the corner, as I enjoyed: slicing into a perfectly juicy watermelon; taking in a Sunday afternoon baseball game; seeing our little front yard garden grow by the hour; drinking several glasses of chilled white wine; jogging along sparkling Lake Washington; barbecuing in the backyard with neighbors; waking up each morning and opening all the windows in the house; wearing tank tops and flip flops; reveling in the feel of sunshine on my shoulders.  ‘Tis the season for all these warm weather pleasures.

Unfortunately, ’tis also the season for busy-ness, with long hours at work and weekends spent preparing for my next licensing exam.  But I will certainly be taking time to stop and smell the spider mums…  (Flowers courtesy of Shane.)

Every year, our church gives each community group a certain amount of money and a simple urging to “bless your neighbors”.  Our group threw lots of ideas around during our Tuesday night get-togethers, and when somebody mentioned the struggle of Nickelsville, a large Seattle homeless camp, in their mission for a land grant, I think several of us felt our heart strings being tugged. No, we didn’t have the funds to provide them with the property or the shelter they need, but we could certainly stretch our dollars and give of our time to provide them with a hot breakfast and a few hours of company.  And so we were up at the crack of dawn this morning, elbow deep in pancake batter, to begin preparations for a breakfast to feed 75+ people.  And at 8:30, we all rolled up to the South Seattle church which has allowed Nickelsville to temporarily set up camp in their adjacent empty lot.  Our trunks were laden with 300 pancakes and slices of bacon, a couple hundred sausage links, bags of fresh fruit, and 2 large jugs of coffee.  I will admit that I was anxious as I got out of the car, not knowing what to expect.  Would they be receptive to outsiders such as ourselves?  What could I possibly talk to them about?  Shame on me for my fear and anxiety. These people are not so different from us.  They are men and women that have lost jobs and been unable to pay mortgages, people that haven’t been able to find work or have faced illnesses or injuries that have knocked them off their feet, and they don’t want to be a burden to family members or friends.  Particularly in economic times such as these, circumstances like these aren’t so hard to imagine.  And the openness, gratefulness, and graciousness of this community far exceeded anything I could have expected.  We showed up at Nickelsville this morning with the intention to bless these people that have faced struggles beyond what we can understand.  But as is often the case, as I strove to bless them, I found blessings being lavished upon me in return.  Each story, each smile, each “thank you” struck at my core, and reminded me of the importance of sharing God’s love and provision.  As we were getting ready to leave, one man tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to pray for him.  He has been seven months clean from a heroin addiction, but still struggles with temptation and “could use all the prayers he could get”.  As I laid my hand on his arm and prayed that he would find God’s strength and protection, I was struck by the power of the human spirit as common ground.  Yes, this man and I have had very different life experiences, but at our cores, we are both humans, we are both sinners in desperate need of God’s grace.

And so I am infinitely grateful for what took place this morning.  I am thankful for our church, who cares deeply about the homeless community and continually encourages us to stop averting our eyes.  I am thankful for our c-group, which is full of people that are constantly amazing me with their talents, their faith, and their generosity.  These people really have become our Seattle family.  And I am thankful for the warmth and the grace of the people of Nickelsville, as they opened my eyes to their “realness” and struggles.  Please keep this amazing group of people in your prayers.

Our bags are packed, our reservations are confirmed, our batteries are charged, and tomorrow we leave for Paris.  I’ve looked forward to this trip for the last 4 years, and so the thought that we are actually going still makes my head spin and my heart flutter.  Is it really possible that in less than 48 hours, I will be roaming the streets of the most beautiful city in the world?  This city is home to some of my fondest memories – it is where I fell in love with art, it is where I acquired a taste for espresso, it is where huge seeds of confidence and independence were planted in my soul.  I’ve been reading through some of the old journals I kept while I was in Paris 5 years ago, picking out names of my favorite cafes and art galleries, and tonight I came across this entry, written on July 4, 2004, my last day abroad:

“45 minutes before I leave for the airport.  Am wandering around in a bit of daze, not wanting to come to terms with the fact that my year in Paris is about to become a memory.  Am sipping a cafe creme, looking out over Place de la Bastille, trying to muster up some excitement about returning to the familiarity of home.  I’ve had to say good-bye to people I love before, but never really to a place.  Not sure how to do it.  Can’t very well give Paris a big hug, wave, and say, “I’ll call you when I get home”.  Can say, “see you later”, though.  Alors, a bientot et merci.  Tu vas me manquer…”

And so “later” has arrived!  The best part about it?  This time Shane comes with me.  As much as I cherished my time in Paris, the fact that we were apart often kept me from fully embracing my experiences abroad.  I can definitely be a bit of a loner, but I really do believe it’s so much better to share a place so beautiful with someone you love.  So cheers to a much-anticipated, well-deserved, totally romantic get-away.  Ciao.

Below are a few more food paintings, done for my art class which ended on Thursday.  It’s fun being “outside the box”.  My mind is still brimming with all kinds of new possibilities.

This one was done on rice paper, with curry powder sprinkled over tea and a small seaweed accent (can you tell I went a little crazy at the Asian food store?).

Pod outlined in tea on soy paper (I totally scored when I found these brightly colored wrappers) and sprinkled with cinnamon.

Flower shape cut with an X-acto knife out of dried seaweed.  Smells fishy, but looks pretty.

Seed shape painted with red wine and dashed with cinnamon, for good measure.

Seed outlined in pencil (I cheated a little), filled in with olive oil, and dotted with soy sauce.  Simple, but the color of oil-soaked paper is beautiful.

Rice paper soaked in water, dribbled with soy sauce, and laid out to dry.  I love the translucency of the paper and the way it wrinkled and cracked.

Lemon slices soaked in wine and used as a stamp.

I’m ready to switch back to regular paints for awhile now, but I expect I’ll revisit edible art-ing again someday.  It’s good when art-making feels like playing.

Schizophrenic weather today – a cool drizzly morning, a quick but intense afternoon wind/rainstorm, followed by a glorious sunbreak, and now we’re back to a cold, rainy night.  I guess I’ll keep that wool coat at the front of the closet for awhile longer…  But I’m taking solace in the fact that Spring is just around corner, as proven by my quickly-sprouting daffodils.  I had forgotten that I’d popped these bulbs in the ground last fall, so it was a nice surprise to see these nice little chutes of green growing out front – can’t wait to see what color the flowers end up being!   I expect that when we get back from our trip in mid-April we’ll be greeted by a Seattle full of budding leaves and blooming floors.  I love the changing of seasons – although I wouldn’t dare to complain about the year-round sunshine that I often enjoyed down on California’s central coast, there was monotony in the perpetual warmth.  And so I’ll endure the rain for a couple more months and look forward to another one of those Seattle summers that makes it all worth it.

Departure in T minus 16 days, and the major stops on our European itinerary are set – plane tickets and hotels have been booked for the following:

Saturday to Saturday:  PARIS.  We’ve rented an apartment near the Marais for the week, just a few blocks from the Place des Vosges, which is about as Parisian as a place can get.  Can’t wait to spend an afternoon or two there sitting on the grass, munching on a baguette, sharing a bottle of wine, listening to the sounds of all the French-speaking passers-by.  We’re keeping our Paris itinerary pretty loose, just looking forward to waking up each morning and saying to each other, “What amazing thing do you want to go do today?”

Saturday to Wednesday:  Porto, Portugal.  Our good friends from Seattle, J and L, will be flying in on Sunday and we’ll be spending a few days with them as they begin their two-week tour of Portugal and Spain.  I still don’t know too much about Porto, other than:  1) It’s extremely old and unbelievably beautiful, and 2) There’s a lot of good Port wine there, ready for the drinking.  Really, what else do you need to know?  We might rent a car for a day and drive out into the wine country – a day in the Portuguese vineyards definitely sounds like something I could do.  Also really looking forward to seeing the Casa da Musica in Porto.  This is an iconic piece of contemporary architecture, designed by OMA/Rem Koolhaas (who also did the Seattle Public Library).

Wednesday to Friday:  Madrid, Spain.  We found super-cheap tickets via RyanAir, and J and L were already going, so we said, why not?  Madrid sounds cool.  Not sure yet what we’re going to do there (except that Shane just discovered there is going to be an awesome Francis Bacon exhibit at the Prado while we’re there – that’s definitely on the list).  And maybe a quick bus trip to Toledo?  Spain is our oyster (for 3 days, at least…).

Friday to Sunday:  Back in Paris, to drink a couple more glasses of wine, to savor a little more beauty, to eat one last pain au chocolat, and to make any last memories that will have to tide us over until our next trip back.

Clearly, we’re still working out the details, though trying not to go overboard with our planning (any good vacation has room for relaxation and spontaneity).  All I know is, in a little over two weeks, I could be walking along the Seine, one hand holding Shane’s hand, the other hand holding a crepe filled with Nutella.  A glorious thought…

I spent last weekend down in Portland and realized that my blog was due for an Elise update. My precious little baby niece is becoming more and more of a little girl each time I see her. Smiling more, laughing more, babbling more, and taking more of an interest in whatever it is that’s going on around her. She loves to look at books (future book club member-in-training!) and is so content to sit on her blanket and flip through one of her stories.  She is a snuggler, too, which I am quick to take advantage of.  On Sunday morning before I left, I spent a good thirty minutes on the couch with her in my lap, while she studied my face and played with my hair.  The silver charm bracelet I was wearing was a big hit with her as well, so I shamelessly used that as a distraction to hold on to her for just a little bit longer.  The minute we left town, I was immediately wondering when I will see her again – a single weekend every couple of months feels far too infrequent during this period when she’s growing and changing so rapidly, but I’m thankful, nonetheless, for whatever time I do get to spend with her.  I’m becoming more and more attached to this little person who is developing and demonstrating her own personality and likes and dislikes. And it’s exciting to know that in the not-too-distant future, she’ll truly know me as “Auntie Kelly” and will begin to recognize me when I walk in the door. Can’t wait to see what lies around the corner with this little girl…

I received one of my most special packages ever in the mail yesterday.  Since my grandmother’s passing last year, my family back on the east coast has been slowly going through her things, setting aside certain items for each family member.  I received two boxes yesterday filled with treasures that exceeded any hopes I had for having something special to remember Nannie by.

This scarf was probably my favorite item in the box.  It was neat that as I called my parents yesterday to tell them what I had received, and as I described this jade green paisley silk scarf, my dad knew exactly the item I was talking about – he could picture Nannie wearing it.

These wine glasses were a wedding gift for my grandparents.  They were married for over 60 years, which means that these glasses are decades older than anything else we have in our kitchen cabinets.  They are so beautifully delicate and “antique”.  They are unlike anything I would ever pick out for myself and yet, somehow, they are perfectly my style.  I look forward to sharing a special bottle of wine, poured in these glasses, next time our family is together.

This is a brooch that Nannie wore often – the epitome of my grandmother’s elegance and grace.  I wore it today to brunch with some girlfriends and felt instantly classier the second I pinned it on.

As I look at these heirlooms, I can’t help but wonder, “What do Shane and I own that will be passed onto our family for generations?”  Our wedding registry consisted mostly of basic kitchen necessities from Crate and Barrel, and it seems that we’ll probably outlast our Ikea furniture.  For the most part, I’m okay with this – I’m glad that we have chosen to minimize our possessions, to keep a simple home.  But it would be nice to have those two or three extra-special objects that our children or grandchildren would cherish one day.  A friend reminded me today that traveling is a perfect opportunity to pick up something that has memory and meaning behind it, so I’ll soon be combing the streets of Paris for that special vase or necklace.  Yes, I like that idea…

In reparation for all of the money we spent during the holidays, and in preparation for our upcoming trip to Europe, Shane and I are focusing on frugality this month.  We set some ground rules on the 1st and committed to sticking to them throughout all of January:  don’t eat out, don’t go shopping, and don’t spend any more than $200 on food and groceries during the entire month.  In some ways, this has been surprisingly easy – I haven’t even noticed that we haven’t set foot in a restaurant for over two weeks.  And the fact that we have friends who love to get together at home for a movie or some games on a Friday night means that our social calendar hasn’t suffered (in fact, we’ve been spending more time than usual with friends during the past couple weekends).  Other things have been harder to deal with – I miss being able to grab a cup of coffee and sit in a cafe for thirty minutes before work or during lunchtime.  I regret not being able to take advantage of all those after-Christmas sales.  And grocery shopping certainly takes more effort when you’re counting your dollars.  But I find that we are cooking more, we are eating healthier, and, most of all, we are wasting less.  When you’re trying to avoid having to make another trip to the grocery store, it’s amazing what you can scrounge up for dinner out of pantry odds and ends.  Yes, sometimes this means cereal for dinner, but sometimes this means pasta tossed with olives, feta cheese, and chicken sausage.  It’s turned out to be a fun challenge in a lot of ways.  And although I look forward to being able to occasionally grab a latte before work come February, I do hope the restraint we practice this month will create some more conscientious spending habits for the future.  It’s a good way to set the tone for the year, as we re-examine our financial priorities and set ourselves up for things like travel, charitable giving, and a family.