little black journal

It’s been a great week.  I had a productive three days at work, Jules and I reveled in nearly every sun-shiny minute of our mama-daughter time on Thursday and Friday, we’ve hit the lake and the playground and the neighborhood diner as a family this weekend, we’ve hung out on the back porch and eaten burgers and corn on the cob and grilled peaches with fresh whipped cream – life is pretty grand these days.

And yet…in the midst of all this good stuff I’ve felt this intense, nagging sense of anxiety bubbling right under the surface.  Like I could cry at any moment, like I can’t fully catch my breath.  It started on Sunday night, when I went to the fridge to label and pack up Juliette’s bottles for the next day and realized just how little milk I’d pumped over the prior three days – I sighed as I dug into our freezer stock, feeling discouraged by my quickly-decreasing supply.  And then I teetered on the edge of a meltdown on Wednesday when I went to visit Jules at lunch and said good-bye to her favorite teacher, who has taken a job elsewhere – Jules and I have both become so attached to her over the past few months.  My stomach flip-flopped when I got an email from daycare on Friday afternoon that said they thought Juliette was ready to move up into the next classroom, that come September 2nd she’ll be leaving the nursery and hanging out with the waddlers all day.  She’ll be sitting at a table for meals and feeding herself and taking one nap a day, at the same time as all the other kids.  Shane came home that evening and hadn’t even set his bag down before I looked up at him and burst into tears.  “They’re moving her up!  No more bottles and no more highchairs and no more napping whenever she wants!  She’s not reeeeaaaaaady!”  Shane agreed – the thought of our little girl, our baby, sitting at a table seems absurd.  But…she is pulling herself up to standing every chance she gets, starting to test her balance on her wobbly legs.  And she is doing more and more self-feeding, preferring bits of meat of veggies and cheese to her purees.  And in this new classroom she’ll get the chance to go out for walks to the playground a couple of times a day, which certainly beats staying indoors.  So…is she really not ready?  Or am I not ready?  Probably the latter.  Mostly.

My baby’s gettin’ all growed up.  And it’s making me incredibly sad.

There’s a long list of things I decidedly don’t miss about her newborn days – the rivers of spit-up, the 2 am marathon bouncing sessions, the swaddling and re-swaddling and re-re-swaddling as she wiggled out of her blanket, that pang of anxiety I felt every time we left the house.  But then there are those precious memories that have already become fuzzy around the edges, like the way she’d sprawl across my chest and completely crash after a long feeding, or the way she’d sleep with her arms stretched straight out in front of her, like she was conducting an orchestra in her dreams.  I miss draping her over my shoulder, carrying her with her head nuzzled into the side of my neck.  I might be talking crazy here, but I even miss the overwhelming newness of parenthood, those first few months of getting to know our daughter, when every new sound or facial expression sent us over the moon.  I talked to my mom and dad last night about my melancholy longing for days gone by, and they reminded me that parenthood is a lifelong process of letting go – they recalled how hard it was to say good-bye to me once they’d settled me into my new dorm at college, how it felt to watch me board a plane to France for my year abroad.  Sooooo, I thought, I’m facing decades more of this?!  That was hardly comforting.  But they also said how wonderful it is that Juliette is thriving, that it’s a sign that Shane and I are doing something right.  Our helpless little seven-pound babe has tripled her weight and mastered that goofy rockstar grin and learned how to crawl because we have fed her and lavished love upon her and cheered her on at every bend in the road.  And to be honest, the cheering is awfully fun (particularly now that she mimics our claps and often cheers with us, smiling a silly Yay Me! smile when she does something new).  We spent this afternoon at Seward Park, and as I watched Juliette happily cruise around the water in the float toy that a sweet little girl let us borrow, I found such joy in seeing her kick her chubby legs and experience something new.  I saw flash-forwards of teaching her how to swim and read and ride a bike, and I felt a surprising rush of excitement for all that lies ahead.

And then she started to bob toward the shore and I grabbed her and brought her close to me, because gosh, I’m not ready to let go.  I still really really miss our baby.

We’ve made it an annual tradition to get out of town with our community group for a weekend every summer.  We’ve done camping trips galore, we’ve rented a floating house on the Willamette River, we’ve spent a weekend hanging out on the porch of a beautiful house on Vashon Island.  This year Adrienne scored us a booking at a huge house in Stevens Pass, big enough for 13 adults and 6 kiddos.  We were thrilled to be keeping tradition alive, even with all these babies in the mix.  Thrilled, and…a little bit anxious.  We were having dinner with Jack and La Verne a week before the trip, and there was a moment when one of us asked, “do you think next weekend is going to be a total disaster?”  We were all silent as we pictured the worst.  What if the walls of the house were really thin and one of the babies didn’t sleep well (meaning none of us would sleep well)?  What if the place wasn’t as big as it looked in the photos, and we spent much of the weekend just looking for a spot to sit down while mayhem swirled around us?  What if Juliette was sick or cranky or just a general buzzkill?

But we hopped in the car on Friday afternoon and hoped for the best.  And the minute we stepped in the front door and looked out the huge windows over the porch to the mountains and the river and the fire pit below, we were so glad we’d made the trip.

And then there was the sweet sight of Jules playing on the floor with her best little buddies – we pushed some of the furniture together to create a little kiddie corral where these three could happily crawl and play and pass their slobbery toys back and forth.  La Verne termed it the “village daycare”.

The house’s porch was incredible – we ate most of our meals out there.  This girl loves her some outdoor dining, chowing down on her scrambled eggs and zucchini/pear puree for dinner on Friday.

And then breakfasting with Nico al fresco on Saturday morning.

During naptime, I sat back in one of the porch’s lounge chairs with my sunglasses and a book and took in the view.  Shane, ever the introvert, found a quiet spot to relax on a rock down in the river.

I removed myself from said chair for a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon to check out a little swimming hole down the road.  Jason played mountain goat / dare devil and scaled a nearby rock wall before taking a giant leap.

I was happy to hang out on a blanket in the sun, occasionally dipping my toes in the icy water.

We headed back to the house for afternoon naptime – the grown-ups played a rousing game of Uno while the kiddos slept.

As is always the case when we get together with this gang, we ate and we ate well.  The look on Juliette’s face after chowing down on Nicole’s homemade spaghetti sauce says it all…I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!

And s’mores for dessert for the older kids (sorry, Jules!  blueberries for you!).

Those mallows left Gryffin and Isaiah with some energy to burn.  Shane was quick to volunteer as playmate.

Juliette cheered from the sidelines.

And was pretty dang stoked when she got in on the action.  We’re buying this girl her own soccer ball!

We snapped a few group pics before putting the little ones to bed.

And then the kids were tucked in, the wine was brought out, and it was time really kick back.

Adrienne got a raging inferno going in the firepit and we circled up to talk and laugh and roast marshmallows.  Every year brings a new s’more creation – this year, mallows were topped with potato chips, “hand crumbled to activate the saturated fats” a la Jack.

Jon disappeared for a few minutes and I assumed he’d headed inside to check on the kids – turns out he was setting up his camera and tripod to snap a photo of the group.  Guy’s got serious skills:

We ate our breakfast sandwiches on the porch Sunday morning, and then it was time to pack up and hit the road.  The house, the view, Juliette’s mood, and the time with friends had wildly exceeded my expectations.  And those s’mores!  Oh, those s’mores…

It’s been a grand few days – loads of sun, burgers hot off the grill (a couple of times!), and lots of quality time with my mom, who left today after a week-long visit.

Jules was pretty stoked to have Grandma join us on our Thursday bakery date.  I was thrilled to see her quickly warm up to my mom – partly because it was so sweet to see them light up each other’s faces, but also because I appreciated the help lugging around my increasingly heavy little girl.

On Friday we got our coffee fix at Cafe Vita…

And spent an hour laying in the sun at Lakewood Park, watching the clouds float by and popping over to the swings when Jules got antsy.

Shane, Jules, and I spent Friday evening at Safeco Field for my company picnic.  We took part in the pre-game funk of hot dogs and beer…and then left half-way through the first inning, as Jules started to show the first signs of a meltdown.  This is our life now, I suppose – baby’s sleep trumps all.  Still, it was a beautiful evening at the ballpark!

Saturday afternoon we set out for Seward Park to dip our toes in the water (that belly!)…

And meet up with my cousin Kelsey, who’s visiting from Maryland.  We picnicked on the grass and then took a long walk up through the woods.  80 degrees, beautiful blue water, views of downtown and Mount Rainier, dappled sunlight in cool, shady forests?  Kelsey and her boyfriend quickly fell in love with the PNW.

We dined al fresco at home last night – turns out Juliette is a big fan of outdoor eating (probably because she can throw her food on the floor without mama making a fuss).

We capped off the day with one last go on the swings at the neighborhood playground.

Breakfast at Geraldines has become something of a weekend tradition for us – we grabbed a (big) bite there this morning before my mom caught her train down to Oregon.

I’m always a little down when my mom leaves, but Juliette doesn’t have a lot of patience for my moping around, so after saying our good-byes we were off to Luther Burbank for a park pick-me-up.  Jules was really into playing in the water this time around – we had so much fun splish-splashing in the lake, sitting in the sand and feeling the miniature waves lap at our toes.

Chilling out under a tree eating strawberries with dad was pretty great, too.

Shane and Jack powered through a 42-mile bike ride to Red Hook Brewery this afternoon and then La Verne and I met them there with the babies.  We toasted to a perfect weekend with beer and burgers – happy, happy SUNday, folks!

I think I’ve said every month that this parenting gig just keeps getting better and better.  And then…we hit month 10.

Ok, that’s perhaps a little overly dramatic.  Our baby girl is still full of plenty of sweet smiles and silly spunk, but she’s also showing the first signs of serious attitude, wailing when she doesn’t get her way and tossing her eggs on the floor when she decides she’d rather have strawberries for dinner.  I understand she’s a little young to be told to mind her manners, but c’mon kid!  I scrambled those eggs (and cleaned that floor) with love!  JUST EAT IT.  (Please.)

But back to sweet and silly!  She really is a riot – she’s up to all kinds of new shenanigans, constantly drawing forth laughter and applause from Shane and I.  Emily let us borrow this little music table, and although the irritatingly catchy ABC song rings in our heads for days on end, we still pull it out all the time for Jules to play with, because look at that goofy grin and head bop!

She figured out how to push herself up from laying to sitting about three weeks ago and it seems like she’s hardly been horizontal since.  Diaper and clothes changes have become an aerobic workout for the both of us, as she kicks and wiggles and squirms the minute we lay her down.  She seemed a little bewildered the first time she sat up in her crib after a nap – we watched on her monitor, and she just looked around for several minutes, like she was seeing her room from a whole new perspective.

This new popping-up thing meant it was time to adjust that mattress height and move the monitor out of reach.  I was a little heartbroken when I laid her in her crib the night we lowered her mattress – I leaned over to give her a goodnight kiss and realized my lips couldn’t reach her, she was so far down in there!  Seems like it wasn’t that long ago that we were putting our swaddled little caterpillar to bed, knowing we’d come in later to find her in exactly the same spot we left her.  And now our little rascal is threatening to escape!

She’s such a busy, busy bee.  Army crawling is suddenly for chumps – she’s motoring around on all fours, quick to go after whatever she’s got her eye on (again, Mr. Fox gets the shaft).

Shane caught her first cruising session on camera this past weekend – she kind of looks like a drunk baby deer on those wobbly legs, but I expect she’ll be running around in no time.

The fact that she can get around so well has made life both easier and harder.  Easier, because when she wants to join me in the kitchen while I’m getting lunch ready, she just crawls on over, rather than fussing as she waits for me to come get her.  But harder, because suddenly everything at a height of two feet and lower is fair game for grabby baby hands.  I certainly don’t keep my cookie stash on the bottom shelf anymore!

We’re just coming off a pretty hot streak of weather (hence the fact she’s not wearing any clothes in any of the above videos), so we’ve been regularly hitting the wading pools and beaches, trying to get Juliette used to being in water outside of the bathtub.  The Volunteer Park wading pool was a hit – she had a great time chilling in the sun with her little buddies.

She was a bit more skeptical about the waves at Chism Beach Park.  She tolerated putting her toes in, but every time I sat her down in the sand, she looked up at me with her poutiest why would you do that? face.

 

Papa still takes the cake as the funniest guy in town.  Jules was in pretty bad shape on Wednesday evening after a day of super-short naps, but Shane easily turned that frown upside down with a little peek-a-boo.

Oh, that hair!

And those eyes!

Happy ten months, baby!  I’ll work on embracing your…errr…determined side.  You work on eating those eggs.  Deal?

Juliette is becoming more observant, more curious, and more opinionated with each passing day.  She’s tossing her toys by the wayside and making a mischievous break for our phones or remote controls or whatever other baby no-no’s we’ve unwittingly left lying around.  And oh, do the crocodile tears flow when we take said remote control or iPhone away from her.  She’s suddenly very interested in what I’m eating and has all kinds of ideas about what should be on her own plate (the tight-lipped turn of her head when I offer her freshly made baby food is not a welcome development).  The older she gets, the less it feels like parenting is just about keeping her fed and dry and as happy as possible.  As her personality really begins to shine through, it’s hitting me:  We’ve got to teach show this little girl kindness and generosity and patience.  She’s watching us.

Yikes.

And what else do we want to show her?  What does it mean to be a Schnell?  Nance wrote last year about what it means to be a Rust, and she’s spot-on when she says, “Our family will have a culture, a way of being, whether we plan for it intentionally or not.  So I’d rather give it some thought ahead of time rather than looking back in 25 years and wishing I’d done things differently.”  What’s at the heart of Shane’s and my being?  How do we give and receive love?  What brings us the most joy, tugs the most fiercely at our hearts?  As we watch Jules grow, there will (hopefully) be moments when our breath catches in our throats and we proudly nod and say, “Yeah, she got that from us.”  What will those moments look like?  What matters most?  This is a start:

We jump at the chance to help out our people.  A ride to the airport, a home-cooked (or picked-up, at least) meal, a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough – we are ready and willing when friends and family need us.  People matter more than to-do lists or money or naps.  I fail at putting this into practice sometimes, but Shane inspires me over and over again to live out our love.  I feel so lucky that Jules will be learning about friendship from her incredibly loyal dad.

We laugh hard and often.  There is always room for silliness in our home, room for dance parties and funny faces and made-up songs.  I have been pulled out of many a funk by Shane’s air guitar.  And now we’re doing the same for Jules, bending over backwards to draw forth a giggle, because a good belly laugh is so good for the soul.  We were heading out to a friend’s house a couple of weeks ago and Juliette was completely over being in the car before we’d even finished buckling her car seat straps.  So Shane hopped in the back seat with her, perched her stuffed puppy on top of his head, and blubbered his lips like a madman.  A car full of teenagers pulled up alongside us just in time for the show.  They smirked their too-cool-for-school smirks, but Shane felt no embarrassment, no shame – we’re a family of damn proud goofballs.

We do our best.  We work hard at school or at our jobs.  We aren’t the slacker lab partner or the project team member that people don’t want to get stuck with, because we are thorough and conscientious and we follow through with our commitments.  We are not perfectionists and we are not without limits, but we make ourselves proud, however that looks.

We love the outdoors.  We’re not hard-core backpackers or mountain-bikers and our hikes are usually more like short walks with lots of snacks involved, but when we have the choice between staying inside and watching TV or heading outdoors to play in the park or just lay in the grass, we go out.  I’m convinced that we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the United States.  We don’t take that for granted.

We are San Francisco Giants fans.  I know, is this really at the core of who we are?  I note it because I know how important (and fun) it is to have a shared pastime.  Shane and I have wildly different interests, but baseball is one of the few things we both really rally around – we find so much joy in going to a game together or letting the voice of Jon Miller whisk us away to AT&T Park, filling us in on the latest happenings with Buster and MadBum and Timmy.  And so we’ll do our best to raise Juliette to love baseball, too.  We’ll let her watch The Sandlot and enroll her in tee-ball as soon as she’s old enough to run the bases (but no pressure, baby!).

Here goes, kiddo.  Looking forward to watching (and helping) your inner Schnell shine through.

The ten on ten challenge slipped my mind last month, but today was a great day to have my camera in hand!

I pulled out all my tricks to get Jules to hang out in bed with me as late as possible today.  Late, as in 7:15 am.

It’s Bakery Thursday!

Bright, bright blue.

Snack time with her best bud.

Beach baby.

Blue part two.

Totally tuckered out.

Dining al fresco.

Summer dessert.

Camera shy.

It was a quintessential summer weekend – afternoons spent laying on a picnic blanket and dipping our toes in Lake Washington, dinners hot off the grill, watermelon and sparklers and swings, oh my…

Shane and I both wrapped up our work weeks on Wednesday evening, so we kicked off our long holiday weekend on Thursday.  Jules and I met up with La Verne and Nico for our standing bakery date in the morning and then headed right back out after morning nap for pizza with papa.  The three of us swung by Lakewood Park on our way home for a little playground action – the swings are still a sure-fire baby-pleaser.

We spent the evening at Jack and La Verne’s, celebrating Nance’s birthday with brats and beer and chocolate cake.  The look on the babies’ faces says it all – who are these nutty people?!

Nico and Jules are becoming fast friends.

Ok, so maybe Nico’s a little nutty, too (in the best possible way, of course)…

We partied hard until…wait for it…7:30!  A new record with the babe!  Followed by the fastest ride home/bath/bedtime story ever, so that we could get Miss Charming tucked in before she turned into a howling, rotten pumpkin.

On Friday afternoon we drove over to Bellevue to check out Meydenbauer Beach Park, a pristine stretch of lawn right on the lake.  I was worried it would be packed because of the holiday, but we had no trouble staking our claim on a perfect patch of shady grass.

Goofball.

We spent the evening at Chez Rust, eating more brats and drinking more beer and lighting the fireworks that Jason had picked up outside city limits.

It was all fun and games when we were just dealing with smoke bombs and sparklers, but once the bigger guns came out, the boys became a little skittish.

Juliette remained pretty chill through it all, not really caring too much one way or the other.  Oh, how this kid has mellowed with age!

Saturday brought more sunshine and more time to hang with the gang.  We convened at Seward Park around lunchtime for tacos and storytime.

Gryffin and Isaiah hopped in and out of the lake all afternoon while Jules “waded” a bit, not sure what to make of the chilly water.

Jason could not be any sweeter to Juliette.  And it’s taken nine months, but she’s finally coming around.

C’mon babies, throw me a bone here!

Jason and Nancy gave us their old baby backpack and we decided to take it for a spin on Sunday at Tiger Mountain.  It was borderline hot that day, and it felt good to hang out in the shade of the woods (with a sweaty baby strapped to your back, huh, Shane?).

We stopped at a bench for a picnic lunch and then headed back once we realized we’d hit the end of the trail.

Jules decided at this point that she was done being in the backpack, so Shane carried her the mile back to the car, stopping every couple of minutes to let her touch ferns and pine needles and mossy tree trunks.  I hope she loves green as much as I do.

We made it!

Oh…summer.  So so so sooooo good.

It’s been an unpredictable few days, weather-wise – warm and sunny one minute, gray and rainy the next.  We should have learned by now that Seattle’s skies always open up and pour on you the minute you think summer has finally, officially arrived…  But we’re making the most of the sunbreaks, hopping from park to park with picnic lunches and floppy hats in tow.  Volunteer Park, Greenlake, Jefferson Park, Seward Park, and Alki Beach in the past four days – whew!

The three of us spent yesterday afternoon at Jefferson Park, celebrating the first birthday of Juliette’s buddy W.  The fountains were on at the spray park and Jules got a kick out of swiping her hand through the water.  I’m looking forward to bringing Miss Muffet (that silly hat!) up here in her swimsuit once temps really warm up.

Shane had a bike fitting appointment this afternoon, so Juliette and I set out for Alki Beach for a long walk and a mama-daughter picnic lunch.  We spread out a blanket on the grass and ate watermelon together and watched dogs and ferry boats and fluffy white clouds pass us by.

I know, she can’t walk or talk and she tends to poop the minute we leave the house, but gosh, this girl and I have a lot of fun together.

I see a string of 75 degrees+ days in the forecast – I’m working on our next tour de parks itinerary now!

Juliette hit the big three-quarters of a year mark on Saturday!  I think I say this every month, but these past few weeks have been my favorite thus far (the terror of last Friday night excepted)…

Little missy is really on the move these days.  It started with a slow, grunt-filled trek across the living room floor to grab whatever toy we’d placed just out of reach.

A couple of weeks later, she had the army crawl down pat.  She’s really motoring now and is rarely content to sit in one spot.  Her teachers at daycare say that she spends much of the day just zig-zagging from one side of the room to the other – once she grabs hold of the toy or book she’s after, she drops it and sets off in search of something new.

Speaking of toys, I think I’m done buying them for her!  Did you notice how she flung her fox out of the way and chose to go for the shoebox instead?  And a couple of weeks ago I set her down on the living room floor with a new pop-up toy only to find that she was much more taken with the tag on the leggings I’d just pulled off of her (she loooooves anything with a tag – I’m regretting the fact that I unknowingly cut the tags off of most of her stuffed animals!).  She also loves tearing apart magazines, pretending to drink from a big plastic cup, and rifling through the diaper bag.  I’ll be “shopping” for toys in our closets and kitchen cupboards from now on.

Mealtimes are more and more fun, especially as she’s learned how to feed herself small finger foods, like cut up fruit and scrambled eggs and cereal.  She recently discovered that blueberries do this very cool squishy thing when she squeezes them too hard.  When she’s not keen on eating, she turns her highchair tray into a berry massacre.  Whatever keeps her entertained, I guess…

And…the obligatory goofball shot (that blueberry never stood a chance)!

Her two top front teeth are coming in and they’ve been a bit of bother.  Drool, drool, drool and she’s had a couple of pretty fussy days.  She’s not talking yet, but unfortunately her teething whine sounds something like mama.  Or, more accurately, mmmmmaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  I’m so looking forward to the first time she looks at me and says mama! with a smile on her face.  You can see those chompers poking through here (her gesture says it all – No pictures, please!  I’m working on a tooth, lady!).

Thursdays continue to be pretty fabulous.  Lots of morning cuddles before heading out in the afternoon to play with friends.  A couple of weeks ago we met up with Emily and baby O for some quality park time.  I love this picture – O is so (aggressively) friendly, while Jules looks up at Emily like, uhhhh…are you going to do something about your son?

And then we had lunch with some friends from work and sweet little A – she and Jules hadn’t seen each other for six months and had lots of catching up to do.

And so many bakery dates!  It’s often just the two of us, but it’s extra-fun when we catch La Verne and N there.

And we had our first trip to the zoo last week!  It was a cloudy morning turned sunny afternoon and Jules and I jumped at the chance to get outside with some of her buddies.

La Verne and I got there first and felt a little silly as we walked through the African Savanna, pointing excitedly at the giraffes and zebras and hippos while our unimpressed babies looked everywhere except the direction we were pointing.  But then we found the penguins, where the kiddos could get up close to the action.  Juliette loved it, waving excitedly to these funny birds as they swam past her.

Miss S is eighteen months older than Jules and plays the part of the cool (very sweet) big sister well.

When she’s not waving at the penguins, Jules is waving at Shane or I, or at strangers on lightrail, or at Grandma and Grandpa on our video chats.  It’s her go-to-gesture when she wants food or attention or just to say hello.  And it’s usually accompanied by the same ahh-AHH-ahh-AHH-ahh sound.  So friendly, that girl!

She weighs in at almost 20 pounds now and was looking a little squished in her infant car seat, so we upgraded her last week to a big-kids seat.  I was kind of sad to see her outgrow the Britax we brought her home from the hospital in, but she seems much happier now that her shoulders and legs have a little room to move.

And…sleep!  She’s doing it so well these days (again, last Friday excepted).  Last week, before she came down with her cold, she slept 11 straight hours, three nights in a row.  She’s still a little unpredictable, as she slept from 7:30 pm to 7:00 am Monday night and woke up at 1:00 and 4:00 Wednesday night, but we’re on the right track.  And I think she’s starting to love naps almost as much as I do, snoozing for a solid 1.5 to 2 hours twice a day.

Finally, one last smile:

Ok, three last smiles:

Happy nine months, baby!

We’ve stayed pretty close to home these last few months – I was telling La Verne last week that I can’t remember the last time we weren’t home for Juliette’s two naps and bedtime.  That means we haven’t left the house for more than 4-5 hours since…Christmas in Portland?  Is that possible?  We were due for a getaway.  So when my aunt told us she’d be visiting Portland from Baltimore for a few days, we took that as our cue to get out of town for the weekend and catch up with family.  We headed out on Friday morning, fingers crossed that Jules would take a solid nap on the road, spend the afternoon at Mitch’s charming the family with her babbling and smiles, and sleep like a rock during her first night in a hotel.  The best-laid plans…

The ride down went alright, save for the last thirty minutes, at which point Jules had decided she was done being in the car.  We tried singing songs, giving her snacks, stopping for a breather, cranking up the radio, turning down the radio, playing peek-a-boo, and praying, but ultimately just had to push through.  We made it to Edgefield for lunch, a little worse for the wear, but with sanity mostly in-tact.  And it was so good to see Grandma!

We spent the afternoon at Mitch’s house, laying low.  Jules woke up from her nap feeling a little warm.  Not good.  And then two gooey streams of snot shot out of her nose when she sneezed.  Really not good.  She came down with a cold last time Mitch and his family visited and spent much of the weekend fussing.  Could her timing really be this bad?  Hang with us, baby!  We gave her some ibuprofen and hoped for the best.  She perked up a little at dinner and seemed to enjoy hanging out with Morgan, who read her books and offered her toys and sang her six rounds of The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

The Jarrell Inn was full for the night, so we headed out after dinner to check into our room at a nearby hotel.  We did bathtime, pajamas, and Pack N Play setup in record time and had Jules tucked in just past her regular bedtime.  Whew!  Shane and I tucked ourselves into bed with the iPad to watch an episode of The Americans, tired but pretty satisfied with how well we’d fared for the day.  And then, at 8:30, Juliette started to fuss.  I opened the door to the living room (we were in a suite) and rubbed her back until she settled down, figuring she was probably confused by this strange crib in this strange room.  She quickly went back to sleep and I hopped back into bed.  Crisis averted!  And then, at 8:45, she really started wailing.  Not just a whimper, but an all out plea to Come get me, NOW!  I nursed her until she dropped back off to sleep, hoping we’d seen the last of each other for the night.  But she woke again at 9:15.  And 9:45.  And 10:00.  I could hear her cold getting worse, as she snorted through her stuffy nose.  I finally just pulled her into bed with us and tried propping her up with a pillow so she could breathe easier.  But she was squirmy.  And hot.  I took her sleep sack off.  I put it back on.  I laid her on my chest, Shane tried nuzzling her in the crook of his arm, I nursed her, Shane sang to her, but she just wouldn’t settle.  I pulled the Pack N Play next to our bed and put her in it, my arm draped awkwardly over the side of the bed so that I could rub her back while she drifted off to sleep.  Time was all a blur at this point, but I think this lasted about an hour, and then she somehow ended up back in the bed, and then she was back in the Pack N Play in the living room for a couple of hours while I hopped up every 20 minutes to soothe her.  Shane headed out at 6 am to pick up some baby Tylenol, and after we gave her a dose she slept for two whole hours.  I haven’t been so thrilled by two hours of sleep since she was four days old!

We were up and at ’em around 8:30, bleary-eyed and a little bit cranky.  This might be one of the most deceptive photos of all time – I pulled out the camera just to memorialize Juliette’s first night in a hotel, figuring I’d catch her fussing, but she flashed Shane a pretty great grin as I leaned over to snap a picture.  I’ll take it.  We’ll call it her We survived! smile.

In the morning so she looked so small in that king-sized bed.  In the middle of the night, she felt like a a 900-pound restless gorilla.

We went to Mitch and Kathryn’s for breakfast, thinking we’d ride the wave of Juliette’s morning dose of Tylenol until naptime, at which point we’d head home.  We ate and then walked over to the girls’ favorite park for swings and slides and basketball.  The fresh air did us all good.

Cousins! (That’s the neighbor girl on the right, honorary Jarrell for the day.)

Juliette seems to be getting more comfortable with being the center of attention!

The ride home was, well…

But we made it back to Seattle with only two stops and Juliette started to rebound that evening – she’s on the mend now, fever-free and sleeping much, much better.  Although the weekend didn’t quite live up to my idealized visions (they never do!), we’re still glad we made the trip, glad my Aunt Ruthie got to meet Juliette, if only for a few hours.  And maybe it’s good to regress every once in awhile, so that we can appreciate how far we’ve come in these last nine months.  Yeah, I’ll go with that…