little black journal

It’s been a grand few days – loads of sun, burgers hot off the grill (a couple of times!), and lots of quality time with my mom, who left today after a week-long visit.

Jules was pretty stoked to have Grandma join us on our Thursday bakery date.  I was thrilled to see her quickly warm up to my mom – partly because it was so sweet to see them light up each other’s faces, but also because I appreciated the help lugging around my increasingly heavy little girl.

On Friday we got our coffee fix at Cafe Vita…

And spent an hour laying in the sun at Lakewood Park, watching the clouds float by and popping over to the swings when Jules got antsy.

Shane, Jules, and I spent Friday evening at Safeco Field for my company picnic.  We took part in the pre-game funk of hot dogs and beer…and then left half-way through the first inning, as Jules started to show the first signs of a meltdown.  This is our life now, I suppose – baby’s sleep trumps all.  Still, it was a beautiful evening at the ballpark!

Saturday afternoon we set out for Seward Park to dip our toes in the water (that belly!)…

And meet up with my cousin Kelsey, who’s visiting from Maryland.  We picnicked on the grass and then took a long walk up through the woods.  80 degrees, beautiful blue water, views of downtown and Mount Rainier, dappled sunlight in cool, shady forests?  Kelsey and her boyfriend quickly fell in love with the PNW.

We dined al fresco at home last night – turns out Juliette is a big fan of outdoor eating (probably because she can throw her food on the floor without mama making a fuss).

We capped off the day with one last go on the swings at the neighborhood playground.

Breakfast at Geraldines has become something of a weekend tradition for us – we grabbed a (big) bite there this morning before my mom caught her train down to Oregon.

I’m always a little down when my mom leaves, but Juliette doesn’t have a lot of patience for my moping around, so after saying our good-byes we were off to Luther Burbank for a park pick-me-up.  Jules was really into playing in the water this time around – we had so much fun splish-splashing in the lake, sitting in the sand and feeling the miniature waves lap at our toes.

Chilling out under a tree eating strawberries with dad was pretty great, too.

Shane and Jack powered through a 42-mile bike ride to Red Hook Brewery this afternoon and then La Verne and I met them there with the babies.  We toasted to a perfect weekend with beer and burgers – happy, happy SUNday, folks!

I think I’ve said every month that this parenting gig just keeps getting better and better.  And then…we hit month 10.

Ok, that’s perhaps a little overly dramatic.  Our baby girl is still full of plenty of sweet smiles and silly spunk, but she’s also showing the first signs of serious attitude, wailing when she doesn’t get her way and tossing her eggs on the floor when she decides she’d rather have strawberries for dinner.  I understand she’s a little young to be told to mind her manners, but c’mon kid!  I scrambled those eggs (and cleaned that floor) with love!  JUST EAT IT.  (Please.)

But back to sweet and silly!  She really is a riot – she’s up to all kinds of new shenanigans, constantly drawing forth laughter and applause from Shane and I.  Emily let us borrow this little music table, and although the irritatingly catchy ABC song rings in our heads for days on end, we still pull it out all the time for Jules to play with, because look at that goofy grin and head bop!

She figured out how to push herself up from laying to sitting about three weeks ago and it seems like she’s hardly been horizontal since.  Diaper and clothes changes have become an aerobic workout for the both of us, as she kicks and wiggles and squirms the minute we lay her down.  She seemed a little bewildered the first time she sat up in her crib after a nap – we watched on her monitor, and she just looked around for several minutes, like she was seeing her room from a whole new perspective.

This new popping-up thing meant it was time to adjust that mattress height and move the monitor out of reach.  I was a little heartbroken when I laid her in her crib the night we lowered her mattress – I leaned over to give her a goodnight kiss and realized my lips couldn’t reach her, she was so far down in there!  Seems like it wasn’t that long ago that we were putting our swaddled little caterpillar to bed, knowing we’d come in later to find her in exactly the same spot we left her.  And now our little rascal is threatening to escape!

She’s such a busy, busy bee.  Army crawling is suddenly for chumps – she’s motoring around on all fours, quick to go after whatever she’s got her eye on (again, Mr. Fox gets the shaft).

Shane caught her first cruising session on camera this past weekend – she kind of looks like a drunk baby deer on those wobbly legs, but I expect she’ll be running around in no time.

The fact that she can get around so well has made life both easier and harder.  Easier, because when she wants to join me in the kitchen while I’m getting lunch ready, she just crawls on over, rather than fussing as she waits for me to come get her.  But harder, because suddenly everything at a height of two feet and lower is fair game for grabby baby hands.  I certainly don’t keep my cookie stash on the bottom shelf anymore!

We’re just coming off a pretty hot streak of weather (hence the fact she’s not wearing any clothes in any of the above videos), so we’ve been regularly hitting the wading pools and beaches, trying to get Juliette used to being in water outside of the bathtub.  The Volunteer Park wading pool was a hit – she had a great time chilling in the sun with her little buddies.

She was a bit more skeptical about the waves at Chism Beach Park.  She tolerated putting her toes in, but every time I sat her down in the sand, she looked up at me with her poutiest why would you do that? face.

 

Papa still takes the cake as the funniest guy in town.  Jules was in pretty bad shape on Wednesday evening after a day of super-short naps, but Shane easily turned that frown upside down with a little peek-a-boo.

Oh, that hair!

And those eyes!

Happy ten months, baby!  I’ll work on embracing your…errr…determined side.  You work on eating those eggs.  Deal?

Juliette is becoming more observant, more curious, and more opinionated with each passing day.  She’s tossing her toys by the wayside and making a mischievous break for our phones or remote controls or whatever other baby no-no’s we’ve unwittingly left lying around.  And oh, do the crocodile tears flow when we take said remote control or iPhone away from her.  She’s suddenly very interested in what I’m eating and has all kinds of ideas about what should be on her own plate (the tight-lipped turn of her head when I offer her freshly made baby food is not a welcome development).  The older she gets, the less it feels like parenting is just about keeping her fed and dry and as happy as possible.  As her personality really begins to shine through, it’s hitting me:  We’ve got to teach show this little girl kindness and generosity and patience.  She’s watching us.

Yikes.

And what else do we want to show her?  What does it mean to be a Schnell?  Nance wrote last year about what it means to be a Rust, and she’s spot-on when she says, “Our family will have a culture, a way of being, whether we plan for it intentionally or not.  So I’d rather give it some thought ahead of time rather than looking back in 25 years and wishing I’d done things differently.”  What’s at the heart of Shane’s and my being?  How do we give and receive love?  What brings us the most joy, tugs the most fiercely at our hearts?  As we watch Jules grow, there will (hopefully) be moments when our breath catches in our throats and we proudly nod and say, “Yeah, she got that from us.”  What will those moments look like?  What matters most?  This is a start:

We jump at the chance to help out our people.  A ride to the airport, a home-cooked (or picked-up, at least) meal, a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough – we are ready and willing when friends and family need us.  People matter more than to-do lists or money or naps.  I fail at putting this into practice sometimes, but Shane inspires me over and over again to live out our love.  I feel so lucky that Jules will be learning about friendship from her incredibly loyal dad.

We laugh hard and often.  There is always room for silliness in our home, room for dance parties and funny faces and made-up songs.  I have been pulled out of many a funk by Shane’s air guitar.  And now we’re doing the same for Jules, bending over backwards to draw forth a giggle, because a good belly laugh is so good for the soul.  We were heading out to a friend’s house a couple of weeks ago and Juliette was completely over being in the car before we’d even finished buckling her car seat straps.  So Shane hopped in the back seat with her, perched her stuffed puppy on top of his head, and blubbered his lips like a madman.  A car full of teenagers pulled up alongside us just in time for the show.  They smirked their too-cool-for-school smirks, but Shane felt no embarrassment, no shame – we’re a family of damn proud goofballs.

We do our best.  We work hard at school or at our jobs.  We aren’t the slacker lab partner or the project team member that people don’t want to get stuck with, because we are thorough and conscientious and we follow through with our commitments.  We are not perfectionists and we are not without limits, but we make ourselves proud, however that looks.

We love the outdoors.  We’re not hard-core backpackers or mountain-bikers and our hikes are usually more like short walks with lots of snacks involved, but when we have the choice between staying inside and watching TV or heading outdoors to play in the park or just lay in the grass, we go out.  I’m convinced that we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the United States.  We don’t take that for granted.

We are San Francisco Giants fans.  I know, is this really at the core of who we are?  I note it because I know how important (and fun) it is to have a shared pastime.  Shane and I have wildly different interests, but baseball is one of the few things we both really rally around – we find so much joy in going to a game together or letting the voice of Jon Miller whisk us away to AT&T Park, filling us in on the latest happenings with Buster and MadBum and Timmy.  And so we’ll do our best to raise Juliette to love baseball, too.  We’ll let her watch The Sandlot and enroll her in tee-ball as soon as she’s old enough to run the bases (but no pressure, baby!).

Here goes, kiddo.  Looking forward to watching (and helping) your inner Schnell shine through.

It was a quintessential summer weekend – afternoons spent laying on a picnic blanket and dipping our toes in Lake Washington, dinners hot off the grill, watermelon and sparklers and swings, oh my…

Shane and I both wrapped up our work weeks on Wednesday evening, so we kicked off our long holiday weekend on Thursday.  Jules and I met up with La Verne and Nico for our standing bakery date in the morning and then headed right back out after morning nap for pizza with papa.  The three of us swung by Lakewood Park on our way home for a little playground action – the swings are still a sure-fire baby-pleaser.

We spent the evening at Jack and La Verne’s, celebrating Nance’s birthday with brats and beer and chocolate cake.  The look on the babies’ faces says it all – who are these nutty people?!

Nico and Jules are becoming fast friends.

Ok, so maybe Nico’s a little nutty, too (in the best possible way, of course)…

We partied hard until…wait for it…7:30!  A new record with the babe!  Followed by the fastest ride home/bath/bedtime story ever, so that we could get Miss Charming tucked in before she turned into a howling, rotten pumpkin.

On Friday afternoon we drove over to Bellevue to check out Meydenbauer Beach Park, a pristine stretch of lawn right on the lake.  I was worried it would be packed because of the holiday, but we had no trouble staking our claim on a perfect patch of shady grass.

Goofball.

We spent the evening at Chez Rust, eating more brats and drinking more beer and lighting the fireworks that Jason had picked up outside city limits.

It was all fun and games when we were just dealing with smoke bombs and sparklers, but once the bigger guns came out, the boys became a little skittish.

Juliette remained pretty chill through it all, not really caring too much one way or the other.  Oh, how this kid has mellowed with age!

Saturday brought more sunshine and more time to hang with the gang.  We convened at Seward Park around lunchtime for tacos and storytime.

Gryffin and Isaiah hopped in and out of the lake all afternoon while Jules “waded” a bit, not sure what to make of the chilly water.

Jason could not be any sweeter to Juliette.  And it’s taken nine months, but she’s finally coming around.

C’mon babies, throw me a bone here!

Jason and Nancy gave us their old baby backpack and we decided to take it for a spin on Sunday at Tiger Mountain.  It was borderline hot that day, and it felt good to hang out in the shade of the woods (with a sweaty baby strapped to your back, huh, Shane?).

We stopped at a bench for a picnic lunch and then headed back once we realized we’d hit the end of the trail.

Jules decided at this point that she was done being in the backpack, so Shane carried her the mile back to the car, stopping every couple of minutes to let her touch ferns and pine needles and mossy tree trunks.  I hope she loves green as much as I do.

We made it!

Oh…summer.  So so so sooooo good.

It’s been an unpredictable few days, weather-wise – warm and sunny one minute, gray and rainy the next.  We should have learned by now that Seattle’s skies always open up and pour on you the minute you think summer has finally, officially arrived…  But we’re making the most of the sunbreaks, hopping from park to park with picnic lunches and floppy hats in tow.  Volunteer Park, Greenlake, Jefferson Park, Seward Park, and Alki Beach in the past four days – whew!

The three of us spent yesterday afternoon at Jefferson Park, celebrating the first birthday of Juliette’s buddy W.  The fountains were on at the spray park and Jules got a kick out of swiping her hand through the water.  I’m looking forward to bringing Miss Muffet (that silly hat!) up here in her swimsuit once temps really warm up.

Shane had a bike fitting appointment this afternoon, so Juliette and I set out for Alki Beach for a long walk and a mama-daughter picnic lunch.  We spread out a blanket on the grass and ate watermelon together and watched dogs and ferry boats and fluffy white clouds pass us by.

I know, she can’t walk or talk and she tends to poop the minute we leave the house, but gosh, this girl and I have a lot of fun together.

I see a string of 75 degrees+ days in the forecast – I’m working on our next tour de parks itinerary now!

Juliette hit the big three-quarters of a year mark on Saturday!  I think I say this every month, but these past few weeks have been my favorite thus far (the terror of last Friday night excepted)…

Little missy is really on the move these days.  It started with a slow, grunt-filled trek across the living room floor to grab whatever toy we’d placed just out of reach.

A couple of weeks later, she had the army crawl down pat.  She’s really motoring now and is rarely content to sit in one spot.  Her teachers at daycare say that she spends much of the day just zig-zagging from one side of the room to the other – once she grabs hold of the toy or book she’s after, she drops it and sets off in search of something new.

Speaking of toys, I think I’m done buying them for her!  Did you notice how she flung her fox out of the way and chose to go for the shoebox instead?  And a couple of weeks ago I set her down on the living room floor with a new pop-up toy only to find that she was much more taken with the tag on the leggings I’d just pulled off of her (she loooooves anything with a tag – I’m regretting the fact that I unknowingly cut the tags off of most of her stuffed animals!).  She also loves tearing apart magazines, pretending to drink from a big plastic cup, and rifling through the diaper bag.  I’ll be “shopping” for toys in our closets and kitchen cupboards from now on.

Mealtimes are more and more fun, especially as she’s learned how to feed herself small finger foods, like cut up fruit and scrambled eggs and cereal.  She recently discovered that blueberries do this very cool squishy thing when she squeezes them too hard.  When she’s not keen on eating, she turns her highchair tray into a berry massacre.  Whatever keeps her entertained, I guess…

And…the obligatory goofball shot (that blueberry never stood a chance)!

Her two top front teeth are coming in and they’ve been a bit of bother.  Drool, drool, drool and she’s had a couple of pretty fussy days.  She’s not talking yet, but unfortunately her teething whine sounds something like mama.  Or, more accurately, mmmmmaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  I’m so looking forward to the first time she looks at me and says mama! with a smile on her face.  You can see those chompers poking through here (her gesture says it all – No pictures, please!  I’m working on a tooth, lady!).

Thursdays continue to be pretty fabulous.  Lots of morning cuddles before heading out in the afternoon to play with friends.  A couple of weeks ago we met up with Emily and baby O for some quality park time.  I love this picture – O is so (aggressively) friendly, while Jules looks up at Emily like, uhhhh…are you going to do something about your son?

And then we had lunch with some friends from work and sweet little A – she and Jules hadn’t seen each other for six months and had lots of catching up to do.

And so many bakery dates!  It’s often just the two of us, but it’s extra-fun when we catch La Verne and N there.

And we had our first trip to the zoo last week!  It was a cloudy morning turned sunny afternoon and Jules and I jumped at the chance to get outside with some of her buddies.

La Verne and I got there first and felt a little silly as we walked through the African Savanna, pointing excitedly at the giraffes and zebras and hippos while our unimpressed babies looked everywhere except the direction we were pointing.  But then we found the penguins, where the kiddos could get up close to the action.  Juliette loved it, waving excitedly to these funny birds as they swam past her.

Miss S is eighteen months older than Jules and plays the part of the cool (very sweet) big sister well.

When she’s not waving at the penguins, Jules is waving at Shane or I, or at strangers on lightrail, or at Grandma and Grandpa on our video chats.  It’s her go-to-gesture when she wants food or attention or just to say hello.  And it’s usually accompanied by the same ahh-AHH-ahh-AHH-ahh sound.  So friendly, that girl!

She weighs in at almost 20 pounds now and was looking a little squished in her infant car seat, so we upgraded her last week to a big-kids seat.  I was kind of sad to see her outgrow the Britax we brought her home from the hospital in, but she seems much happier now that her shoulders and legs have a little room to move.

And…sleep!  She’s doing it so well these days (again, last Friday excepted).  Last week, before she came down with her cold, she slept 11 straight hours, three nights in a row.  She’s still a little unpredictable, as she slept from 7:30 pm to 7:00 am Monday night and woke up at 1:00 and 4:00 Wednesday night, but we’re on the right track.  And I think she’s starting to love naps almost as much as I do, snoozing for a solid 1.5 to 2 hours twice a day.

Finally, one last smile:

Ok, three last smiles:

Happy nine months, baby!

Happy Father’s Day to the two most important guys in my life!

To Shane, who wows me time and again with the tender, silly, completely selfless way he loves our little girl.  Watching him welcome a kiss from her, even when her face is covered in drool; watching him read her the same books over and over and over, each time pretending that it’s a complete surprise that the very hungry caterpillar turns into a butterfly; watching him elicit sweet baby giggles as he jumps and dances and dramatically bonks his head with a cereal box or toy block…these are my greatest joys.  We pass this little playground every time we walk to the neighborhood bakery and Shane likes to take a spin with Jules around the basketball courts.  He gives her a good push and she’s off, probably wondering who the heck is in control of the stroller if papa is running alongside her and mama is laughing from the sidelines.  She’s mildly amused, but that goofy, excited grin on Shane’s face as she rolls right into his arms gets me every time.  He’s so good at play, so sweet in his funny little shenanigans.

And to my own dad, who’s a model of tender-loving fun.  I still remember how he’d come home from work in the evenings and “play the piano” on my belly while I laughed hysterically, I remember that day on Dean Drive that he gave me a push on my first real bike, that stylish pink and green Huffy.  I remember him cheering me on at swim meets and graduations, always wanting me to feel supported and valued and affirmed.

How did Juliette and I get so incredibly lucky?

I used to keep a list of Seattle’s must-visit bars and restaurants and pull it out when we were looking for something to do on a Saturday night.  And then we had Juliette and accepted our fate as regulars at the neighborhood bakery and pizza joint.  These days, we’re making our way through a different kind of list, spending our weekends hopping from park to playground with baby in tow.

Last weekend we met up with the Brenners at Cougar Mountain and embarked on our first family hike.  We borrowed a baby backpack, strapped in Juliette, and we were off!  It was a 30-minute trek to Coal Creek Falls, where we stopped to have a snack and let the dads rest their shoulders.   Looking back, I’m realizing that it was less of a hike and more of a leisurely stroll in the woods, but that suits me just fine.

Jules and Wes were happy little troopers, babbling back and forth along the trail.

Thanks, Jon, for the group pic!

On Saturday we met up with Rust clan in West Seattle for an impromptu picnic at Camp Long.  We spread out a blanket on the grass and the guys tossed the frisbee around while Nance and I kicked off our shoes and caught up with one another.  This was my best attempt at corralling the troops for a photo (that’s Isaiah lurking in the distance – the kid is decidedly not a fan of the camera!).

Juliette was extra-friendly that day and was so content to snuggle with Jason and Nance.

I love this picture – Shane hanging out kind of awkwardly in the back, Gryff’s super-angelic expression, and Juliette’s apparent confusion – “Wait…you’re not my family…”

Yesterday was perfect lakeside weather, so the three of us crossed I-90 and staked out a spot on the lawn at Newport Beach Park in Bellevue.  Juliette and I chowed down on strawberries and then went down to the beach to squish the sand between our toes.  Summer’s in the air, folks!

And then there are our tried-and-true favorites:  Jefferson, Seward, and, most recently, Dearborn Park.  This sweet little park is a 10-minute walk from our house – there’s always a swing available and the wide-open lawn is perfect for whiling away that hour before bedtime.

I know, there are no hand-crafted cocktails to be had at Dearborn Park, no creme brulee on the menu at Cougar Mountain.  But hey, we’re still gettin’ out.  And it’s pretty spectacular.

Someone get my girl a cap and gown – she (and I) have made it through her second full month at daycare!  Though I miss being at home with Jules seven days a week, we have settled into our new normal, with its share of ups and downs.

The downs:

Holy germs, batman!  In her first month at daycare, Juliette came down with three colds, one stomach bug, and one nasty ear infection.  You know those commercials where cold and flu germs are played by the green blobby guys with scary bulbous eyes?  Those guys flash before my eyes every time I set Juliette down on her classroom floor in the morning.  It’s not that her classroom is unclean, per se, it’s just that she and her eight little buddies are all in that phase where they explore the world with their mouths, leaving a trail of saliva in their wake as they make their way from one pile of toys to the next.  One kid catches a cold, all kids catch a cold.  I’m clinging to the hope that exposing her to these bugs now will build up her immunity in the long term, so this snot isn’t all for naught.

Giving Juliette my undivided attention is harder than it used to be.  I work Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday and try to leave the office as close to 5:00 as possible on those days so that I can spend a couple of hours with Jules before bedtime.  These limited hours in the office limit the amount of stuff I can accomplish, which means I bring work home with me, firing up the laptop after Jules goes to bed or during her naps on my days “off”.  Boundary-setting is an ongoing battle – even on the weeks I manage to stick to the 30 hours of work I’ve committed to, I still feel like I’ve spent an additional 10-12 hours thinking about work as that nagging to-do list whirls through my head.  “Just put it away” has become my 5:00 mantra.

And dang it, I’m tired these days.  It feels like we’re go-go-going from 6 am on Monday till 8 pm on Wednesday – most Wednesday nights I crash out on the couch around 8:30, totally spent by the baby-work-baby-work cycle.

But it’s not all sickness and stress and fatigue – I promise, there are upsides!

Like, Juliette is rocking the commute.  We were a little nervous about how she’d handle being shuttled back and forth on Lightrail every day, but she’s a champ on the train.  Most days she just hangs out in her stroller and is content to watch people get on and off.  Some days I can’t resist the urge to hold her, so she sits on my lap and we read a book or have a good chat on the way in.  So proud of our urban baby!

The smile on her face when I go visit her at lunch or pick her up at the end of the day is enough to nearly make my heart explode.  I often head over to daycare around noon to hang out for a bit or take her out for a walk along the waterfront – I peek into her classroom and usually find her contentedly hanging out in the bouncer or passing a slobbery toy back and forth with one of her friends.  Then she looks up and sees me and starts excitedly flapping her arms until I scoop her up, at which point she buries her face in my chest, pulls her head back to flash me her best two-toothed grin, and nuzzles me once more.  In those moments, I feel so exceedingly special – I know she enjoys her teachers and the other kids and that bucket full of plastic cars, but I’m mama.  Those extra-bright smiles and extra-close cuddles are mine and mine alone.

Thursdays!  Ohhhh, I love Thursdays, when I get to cuddle with Jules for as long as she’ll let me in the morning, then take her to the bakery for yogurt (hers) and a latte (mine).  Time with her feels like such a treat after three days apart.  We go for long walks and hang out at the park and I try my damnedest not to think about my to-do list and live fully into my most important job.  My favorite job, loving this girl.

I still occasionally wonder if we’re doing the right thing, if our family would be better off if I had decided to stay home with Juliette.  It’s really, really hard, being the architect and the mom and the wife I want to be.  But I like the way all those hats look on me, even stacked a little precariously one on top of the other.  So we’ll just keep swimming.  And savoring those moments when we come up for air and pat ourselves on the back for making it work.

Shane and I tag-teamed baby duty all weekend, so Memorial Day was officially designated a family fun day – the Schnells were pumped and ready to take Seattle by storm.  Admittedly, we were not so pumped about being up at 6 am and spent the morning seeing how long we could get Jules to just hang out in bed with us, but after breakfast, a little play time, a morning nap, and our usual getting-out-of-the-house rigamarole, we were off!  We landed at Kubota Gardens with the Chens for a picnic lunch on the lawn.

Seeing these two munchkins together makes me so deliriously happy.  I wish I had a photo of the gymnastics Shane and Jack were doing behind me to get Nico and Jules to synchronize their smiles!

After lunch, we took an easy stroll through the park, pausing for a couple of family photo ops.  I’ve only been to Kubota during the fall, so it was fun to see it in all it’s lush springtime glory.

We headed home around 2:00 and conked out – all of us.  I love family naptime!  Jules logged a solid two hours of z’s and seemed ready for another go when she woke up, so we got back in the car and drove over to Seward Park for an evening walk.  This girl really, really loves being outside.  And I love showing her this incredible place we live in.

Jules dined on peas and strawberries while enjoying last of the day’s rays, and then it was time to head home for bath, books, and bed.  The day had been busy in the mellowest way possible, and we enjoyed the satisfied sense of restfulness that comes with feeling like you’ve done a lot and done nothing at all.  Mondays don’t get much better than this, huh baby?